I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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