You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
