found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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