Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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