Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
