Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
