You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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