Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
