the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
