There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
