I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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