I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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