I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he thought i was a dude.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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