we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
