Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
