ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
