guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
