I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
that's an acceptable place to lick
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I would ride that face into the sunset
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
