The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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