I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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