Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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