don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i think im in europe. pls send help
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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