his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
