I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
