Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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