Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Less talking, more tequila
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Randomize
