his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
