its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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