I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
