Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
