And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
