In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
