I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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