i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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