Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
