My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
