AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
areolas are like halos for boobs.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
