yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
