oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
