Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
