You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
