Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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