Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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