Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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