tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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