my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
