I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I licked your asshole in confidence.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
