I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
only you would photoshop your dick
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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