I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
