Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
