Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
