Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
