Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
