i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
